SPARTANS!!!

I did it. This morning, Mark and I gathered at his barn. We stretched. We warmed up. We got psyched. Then we set to work. We threw ourselves into the daunting task of completing the 300 workout used for the popular movie 300; 25 pull ups, 50 dead lift of 135lbs, 50 push ups, 50 2ft box jumps, 50 floor wipers with 135lbs, 50 clean and press with 36lbs weight, and 25 pull ups just to kill you at the end, and all with a 20 minute time limit. We modified it slightly (we only had 133.8lbs, or so on the bar, our 'box' was a stump measuring 22 inches (if you jumped form the correct angle), and our 36lbs kettle bell was a 35 lbs dumbbell. Tough tit!
Any, Mark had me go first, and I shot out of the gate. I did the 25 pull ups in two sets (20, 5) then did the dead lift as fast as I could (25, 15, 10) pausing to stretch my hammies because they were tightening up fiercely. I pumped out my push ups without pause, then headed out to the stump, where It took a number of sets with some brief pauses betwixt to finish, but I was on pace to smash the time as I headed to the floor wipers and got the weight up at 7:39. I started to lift my toes to the left weights, then down, then to the right, and immediately I could feel the lactic acid building in my static shoulder and arms. The twist in the core thrust the weight side to side, and in my weakened state it nearly toppled me time and again. We realized a spotter was necessary. Mark placed himself in ready position to seize the weight when a drop was immanent. I was able to struggle through them in about as much time as it took me to do the previous 175 reps. I grabbed the DB and pumped out ten reps on my right arm, put it down, sucked air, then did ten left, sucked air, then ten right, ten left, five, five. All that remained was the 25 pull ups from Hades own cesspit. I did 12, and dropped. I did 6, then dropped. I did 3, dropped. 2, and dropped, then, with Mark pushing me on, I threw my body up to the bar to do my final two reps, and finished with a time of 18:29. The only actor from the movie to complete the test did it in 18:11. Craig Ballantine, a contributor form Men's Health magazine, was able to complete it in 19:07. He said "I don't plan on that any time soon, or, really, ever again." Boss.
Then it was Mark's turn. He was slower on the push ups and pull ups than me, but he pumped out the DL faster, and was consistent on the stump jumps. He got down for the wipers at about 7:20, ahead of me. He worked through at 5 reps, break, 5 reps, break, until he started rep 41, where he pumped them out all the way to 50. 6 minutes to go. He was going to break my time! But then, something terrible happened; he paused, he huffed, and he puffed, and he went behind the barn to toss his cookies. That is the first time in about 20 years that a workout has caused him to throw up.
Mission accomplished.